I fell like shit. My boss is late for our weekly lab meeting so we are all just on stand by until he arrives. I feel nervous, helpless and scared as hell. My body knows what horror will come out of this meeting, what piss she is gonna give me for not doing enough work, for wasting my time, for wasting everybody time, for being useless. for making me feel bad, for saying I am a lazy PhD student, for crushing me inside, …. for endless things
My boss knows already what is coming and I can’t help but to feel sick, a knot in my stomach. Just breath, you can do this.
My boss just arrive, I am literally sinking to the floor in my chair. breath, breath, breath